Dear Sisterfriend,
I hope this letter finds you in a moment of reflection and strength. Today, I want to talk to you about breaking free from the role of being a side-chick and embracing the love, respect, and dignity you truly deserve. This is a journey toward discovering your self-worth and reclaiming your life with confidence and grace.
First and foremost, understand that you are worthy of a love that is whole, genuine, and committed. You deserve to be someone’s first choice, not a hidden secret or a second option. I know what he said: You are his #1. You are all he wants, and he is leaving his wife. I know they are separated, but he is giving you all his attention. At the end of the day, he is still not yours, and you are settling for someone else’s man. Do you understand that this is envy? The definition of envy is a mostly negative feeling of desire for something that someone else has and you do not. Envy is not a good feeling—it can be described as a mix of admiration and discontent. But it's not necessarily malicious. Envy is very similar in meaning to jealousy. Then you steal. You take something that doesn’t belong to you.
The Bible warns us against envy and stealing. James 3:16 states, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." Exodus 20:17 reminds us, "You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." Recognize that living in envy and taking what isn't yours only leads to more pain and confusion.
Your value is immeasurable, and it’s important to recognize that you deserve a relationship that honors and respects you fully.
Acknowledge the pain and struggle that come with being in a situation where you are not valued as you should be. It’s okay to feel hurt, confused, and even angry. These feelings are valid and a part of the healing process. By acknowledging them, you take the first step toward breaking free and moving forward.
Turn to prayer and seek God’s guidance in this journey. Psalm 34:17-18 reassures us, “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Bring your pain and struggles to God, asking for His strength and wisdom to guide you towards the path of true love and fulfillment.
Surround yourself with a supportive community that will not allow you to compromise your worth. Seek out friends, family, or a support group who will uplift you, remind you of your worth, and encourage you to make decisions that honor your value. Their love and support can provide the strength and clarity you need to navigate this transition.
Set clear boundaries and make a firm decision to step away from relationships that do not honor your worth. This might be challenging, but it is a necessary step toward healing and self-respect. Commit to focusing on your well-being and the pursuit of relationships that align with your values and aspirations.
Engage in self-care and activities that nurture your soul. Spend time doing things that bring you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, volunteering, or investing in personal growth, find ways to enrich your life and reinforce your sense of self-worth.
Remember to be patient and kind to yourself during this process. Healing and breaking free from unhealthy patterns take time. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remind yourself of the strength and courage it takes to make these changes.
Focus on your future and the possibilities that lie ahead. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Trust in God’s plan for your life and believe that He has a future filled with love, respect, and fulfillment waiting for you.
You are a remarkable woman, deserving of a relationship that honors your worth and treats you with the respect and love you deserve. Embrace this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, knowing that you have the strength within you to create a life filled with genuine love and happiness.
With all my love and support,
Grace